When I spent all my expendable cash on my application, I was so excited and proud of myself, but i didn't think about things such as, how can i afford to pay for school and live in New York of all places. I'm still not sure, but i'm hoping that things will fall into place. I feel like I presented myself the best way I can, I feel that I have a lot to offer and prove and hopefully I'll get that chance. Going to NYU will be a sure fire way I will get to leave Atlanta, that's what I want to do.

If I get in:

I will be overjoyed, excited, scared, anxious. I will most of all be out of Atlanta and for my psyche that seems to be the best thing to do right now or whenever. I feel so worn and alone. I ask myself, should I post about loneliness on a blog? Won't people read it and be like "sheesh, that's girls a loser?" Well, if they do, sobeit. I'm a person and i think loneliness is something that everyone will encounter in life and if they don't, that's more disturbing than being lonesome... anyway... If i make it in, I will be leaving Atlanta to go to a city I've merely visited while seeing family.I will be leaving a good job (that I hate, don't forget that), I will be leaving my family and without steady income, who knows when I'd make it down to see them? These things matter, but not more than my dream or ambition.

If I don't get in:

I will cry and wonder what next. I will still want to move to New York, though, I just don't know how i'll get to doing that. Maybe, I can still take a film class and whatever but, I don't know how I'll get to make movies, if I don't get into Tisch. I know I don't want to work for anybody and I'd like to create things, but, from there, if i'm not writing or making movies, I don't know what else I could do that would make me happy.

I just don't understand why i have to wait till fucking April, that's a long ass time! Or worse, what if I get accepted but can't raise the money? I don't know, but I always feel as if Jah has set a plan for me and I will unknowingly adhere to it. Hopefully, that will be going to NYU and living a happy prosperous life. 

The photo above is a shot I submitted in my visual portfolio, i took the shot and chose the wardrobe and mise-en-scene. It's my favorite picture that i've taken and I've taken quite a few.